Blogging Made Simple™by Fitness/Blogging Expert John Basedow

Hello! I'm John Basedow, TV personality and creator of the best-selling series of workout and nutrition videos "Fitness Made Simple". After recently discovering the exciting world of online "blogging" while surfing the Internet for gay pornography, I have developed a new program that applies my simple workout methods to blogging, thereby offering you the tools you need to create the leanest, meanest, most attention-getting blog on the Internet. But first, here's a picture of me with my shirt off:


Now that you've seen my "hard drive", let's start blogging! Just like personal fitness, the most important part of becoming a successful blogger is Keeping It Simple, and that's what my series of videos, manuals, exercises, supplements, CD-roms, guided self-discoveries, Scientology audits and doctor consultations will teach you!

Step One: Define Your Goals


The first thing you need to ask yourself is: Why am I blogging? Are you trying to create a high-traffic moneymaking site by writing snarky editorial and linking to celebrity news and gossip? Hoping to get your confessional, exaggerated, self-indulgent writing noticed and land the next Great American Book Deal? Got a political axe to grind and looking to add your opinion to the 87 million other people who spend all day online quibbling over the latest events in Washington? Do you think the daily events of your life are so interesting that the rest of the world is dying to read every last detail? Do you simply have an internet connection and need attention? No matter what your blog goals are, my simple program will help you achieve them.

Step Two: Create Your Program


Once you know what you want to accomplish, we'll begin creating a customized program for your blog development. You'll be given "online workouts", allocating time every day for:

+Identifying popular blogs, studying their success, and e-mailing them links to your latest posts
+Leaving thoughtful, on-topic comments on as many blogs as possible, in order to create awareness of your own
+Posting as much new content as possible, even when you really have nothing to say
+Creating, tweaking and maintaining the perfect template and blogroll
+Learning about vital stat meters, and how to monitor your progress and growth
+Stealing links/content from other blogs without getting caught

Step Three: Advanced Performance Enhancement


Now that you've started blogging, my program offers the following three-point strategy for taking things to the next level by enhancing and optimizing your performance as a blogger:

1. Special Blogger Supplements -- Otherwise known as "Blogger's Little Helper" or, more commonly, Adderall, these special supplements will give you the boost of focused energy you'll need to sit in front of your computer for hours on end, reading the entire Internet and writing post after amphetamine-frenzied post.

2. Blogging Videotapes -- These special blogging videotapes are actually just the comprehensive "Sex and the City" boxed set, which is required viewing for anyone interested in blogging about New York, the media, romance or cynically turning their personal lives into anecdotal stories which they hope to sell for millions of dollars.

3. Focused "Snark" Study -- You will strengthen your self-promotional, approval-seeking "snarkiness" (as you should already know, "snarkiness" is ESSENTIAL to successful blogging) skills by studying the comments section of Gawker.com for not less than one hour per day.

Testimonials
If you're still not convinced that Blogging Made Simple is the world's leading blog improvement program, don't take my word for it - just ask these satisfied (and successful) customers:

"When I first started out, the only FOW was my mom. After completing Blogging Made Simple, I used my newfound blog tools to invent a new language, attract millions of visitors and create So. Much. Buzz. Thanks, John BESTdow - bovs on your tees!"
-- Mark, Whatevs.org

"I can't create paid, high-profile blog positions fast enough - or stop rolling in my money long enough - to keep up with the steady stream of Blogebrities Mr. Basedow is producing!"
-- Nick Denton, Gawker Media

"Before Blogging Made Simple, I was just another gay boy with an unhealthy obsession with celebrities, a long-held desire to meet Madonna and a vague need to be famous. Now I've met Madonna!"
- Trent, Pink Is the New Blog

"Bloggy blog blogger bloggedy bloggerson!"
-- Arianna Huffington, The Huffington Post

"After the late 80's, when the acting gigs started getting fewer and far between, I was really worried about how I would be able to maintain my status as a quasi-celebrity. Thank God for John Basedow and Blogging Made Simple!"
-- Wil Wheaton, WilWheaton.net

"Before I started blogging, the only outlet I had for my crushing rage and resentment was kicking around defenseless kittens I happened upon in the neighborhood. If it weren't for John Basedow, I probably would have killed way more than I did."
-- Alex Blagg, BlaggBlogg

And there you have it! If you're tired of just being another "normal person", or not getting the attention you need from friends, family and co-workers, give us a call today and join the 200,000,000 other humans on this planet who have made the decision to stop being a productive member of society and start blogging!

You'll be famous-for-the-Internet in no time - or your money back!*

*Sorry, we cannot refund your soul.