It's Nice Outside. Big Fucking Deal.

Look, hippies - we live in California. It's 'nice' here 90% of the time. So can you please stop having an epileptic seizure every time I tell you I'm going to be spending "this beautiful day" doing something indoors?

In fact, even if we DIDN'T live in California, with an average lifespan of 75 years, most human beings will probably experience around 23,000 'nice days' throughout the course of their lives. So stop acting like every 72-and-sunny afternoon requires a fucking millenium celebration.

"Come on, man - let's go rollerblading. It's BEAUTIFUL outside - I can't believe you want to waste the day inside!"

There's no such thing as 'wasting the day'. Do you really think going to Golden Gate Park and kicking around a hacky sack with a bunch people on pot brownies is somehow more of a worthwhile activity that sitting in the dank darkness of my apartment, drinking a 12-pack of Pabst while chain-smoking and watching "Perfect Strangers" re-runs? No, it's not.

That is all. You may now return to your enjoyment of this "glorious, amazing, gorgeous gift" of an afternoon.